Daniel’s last day of preschool was one week ago today.  He’s now on “summer break” as we like to tell him.  I’m walking that fine line of letting him be totally relaxed and excited that he doesn’t have to go to school and reminding him that this is just a 3 month break before he has to go back. You see school has been a little…um…rough.  Like all things with kids, the excitement of preschool took a little U-turn.  After his very first day of preschool, he was thrilled!  That continued for about two months. He LOVED his teacher and the teaching assistant.  He started making friends.  He loved to show me his drawings and glue projects.  He loved music class.  He loved using the school potty (one of my biggest early fears.) Daniel’s 3 year old preschool program was only two days a week, but after about two months he started to get upset when I dropped him off in the morning.  I had to park and walk him into the small classroom. I liked that.  It gave me the opportunity to see his teacher and watch Bean put his backpack on the wall and sit down.  I felt comfort in leaving him when I knew he was settled.  But it became harder to leave when he would cling to me or cry. It wasn’t sadness. It was more like a small anxiety attack.  He would ask for water or a tissue and get really upset.  God bless his teacher because she was great at bear hugging him into the classroom and shooing me away.  Then she would always tell me that he was “just fine” five minutes after I left. But STILL. It was HARD. Bean is my guinea pig.  He’s my first baby.  He’s my first attempt at “crying it out.” My first one to eat the scary solids.  My first one to walk, to talk, to make a friend, to venture out into the big, bad world.  I had no idea what it would be like to send him off to preschool.  It’s been equally rewarding and stressful. I would always feel better when I picked him up.  He would run to me and hug me and have a huge smile on his face.  It was part glad to see me and part excited to show me a project he did in school that day.   He was doing well.  He was learning new things.  He was happy. But the morning part never changed.  It would vary in range from small sniffles to those crazy anxiety attacks.  He would worry about the littlest things like if music class was going to be in the BIG room that day or if one of his friends was upset the last time he was in class.  “I hope Madison is not upset today, Mama,” he would tell me.  “Don’t worry about her. She’s fine,” I’d say.  It was a lot of little questions and worry.  But he always went in the room.  He was ALWAYS brave.  “Mama, I was brave today,” he would say when I buckled him into his car seat at the end of the school day. “Yes, Daniel, you are my super brave boy.” I think I looked forward to the last day of school more than he did.  I was happy to get relief from the anxiety of it all.  The thing is, Daniel is just like me.  I’m a worrier.  I stress.  I over think EVERYTHING. Even as a little girl I would be nervous about the smallest things; especially school things.  Sometimes I feel guilty because I gave Daniel this gene.  But at least I can relate.  Plus, he helps ME.  One example is his first airplane ride.  I was the one who was filled with stress, but I could not let that show so I calmed down.  It’s the same with preschool.  I feel anxiety every time I drop him off, but I learned to smile and sing happy songs all the way to the classroom.   It made ME feel better. (Of course having happy go-lucky little Annabel with us always helped too.  The cute lucky duck got that trait from her Daddy.) Now, don’t get me wrong.  Daniel made friends.  Daniel did AMAZING in school.  The teacher told me he would speak up and answer questions.  His end of the year “evaluation” was awesome.  He knows his numbers, letters, shapes.  He can write his name.  He can use scissors.  I really have nothing to worry about.  It’s just that he’s my sensitive little boy.  He’s my baby.  He IS a baby.  He was the youngest 3 year old in the class because of his August 30th birthday.  (The cut off for school here is September 1.) His teacher and the Preschool director both think he will do even better next year in the the 4 year old program because of the consistency. Because it’s EVERY SINGLE DAY. Okay, I don’t even want to think about THAT right now.  Because school’s out for the summer. YA-HOO.

Happy June 1st!  It’s officially summertime! (Well, at least in my little Pop Mommy world.)  And summer equals a brand new crop of reality television shows! Thank you Andy Dehnart at Reality Blurred for this awesome list. Ladies and Gentleman, start your TIVOs! June Hell’s Kitchen 7 [Fox, June 1, Tuesdays at 8] America’s Got Talent 5 [NBC, June 1, Tuesdays at 8, Wednesdays at 9] One Big Happy Family [TLC, June 1, Tuesdays at 9] Losing it with Jillian [NBC, June 1, Tuesdays at 10] The Little Couple [TLC, June 1, Tuesdays at 10] Jersey Couture [Oxygen, June 1, Tuesdays at 10] Ghost Hunters Academy[SyFy, June 2, Wednesdays at 9] Toddlers and Tiaras [TLC, June 2, Wednesdays at 10] Whale Wars [Fox, June 4, Fridays at 9] The Next Food Network Star 6 [Food Network, June 6, Sundays at 9] Kate Plus 8 [TLC, June 6, Sundays at 9] Ice Road Truckers [History, June 6, Sundays at 9] Bridezillas[WEtv, June 6, Sundays at 9] My Fair Wedding with David Tutera[WEtv, June 6, Sundays at 10] Last Comic Standing 7 [NBC, June 7 at 8, Mondays at 9] Last American Cowboy [Animal Planet, June 7, Mondays at 10] Pawn Stars [History, June 7, Mondays at 10] Dance Your Ass Off 2 [Oxygen, June 7 at 11, Mondays at 10] I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant [TLC, June 9, Wednesdays at 9] You’re Cut Off! [VH1, June 9, Wednesdays at 9] Bridal Bootcamp [VH1, June 9, Wednesdays at 10] Work of Art: The Next Great Artist [Bravo, June 9 at 11, Wednesdays at 10] Bethenny Getting Married? [Bravo, June 10, Thursdays at 10] Design Star 5 [HGTV, June 13, Sundays at 10] Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami [E!, June 13, Sundays at 10] Holly’s World [E!, June 13, Sundays at 10:30] Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List [Bravo, June 15, Tuesdays at 9] Cupcake Wars [Food Network, June 15, Tuesdays at 9] Double Exposure [Bravo, June 15, Tuesdays at 10] The Fabulous Beekman Boys [Planet Green, June 16, Wednesdays at 9] Top Chef: Washington, D.C. [Bravo, June 16, Wednesdays at 9] Bert the Conqueror [Travel Channel, June 16, Wednesdays at 10] Battle of the Wedding Designers [TLC, June 18, Fridays at 10] Last Chance Highway [Animal Planet, June 19, Saturdays at 8] The Real L Word [Showtime, June 20, Sundays at 10] Inedible to Incredible [TLC, June 21, Mondays at 10] Wipeout [ABC, June 22, Tuesdays at 8] Boston Med [ABC, June 24, Thursdays at 10] Raising Sextuplets[WEtv, June 24, Thursdays at 10] Intervention [A&E, June 28, Mondays at 9] Obsessed [A&E, June 28, Mondays at 10] Man Shops Globe[Sundance Channel, June]  July Carrier [PBS, July 6, Tuesdays at 9] The Choir [BBC America, July 7, Wednesdays at 10] Big Brother 12 [CBS, July 8, Thursdays, Sundays, and Wednesdays at 8] Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch [VH1, July 11, Sundays at 9] The T.O. Show [VH1, July 11, Sundays at 10] Ghost Hunters International[SyFy, July 14, Wednesdays at 9] Mary Knows Best[SyFy, July 15, Thursdays at 9] Paranormal Investigators[SyFy, July 15, Thursdays at 10] Celebrity Ghost Stories [Bio, July 17, Saturdays at 9] Pit Boss [Animal Planet, July 17, Saturdays at 10] My Ghost Story [Bio, July 17, Saturdays at 10] I Survived [Bio, July 25, Sundays at 9] Masterchef [Fox, July 27, Tuesdays at 9] Jersey Shore [MTV, July 29, Thursdays at 10] Rock ‘N’ Roll Fantasy Camp [VH1, July] Snow Men [TLC, July] August Shaq Vs. [ABC, August 3, Tuesdays at 9] Bachelor Pad [ABC, August 9, Mondays at 8] Dating in the Dark [ABC, August 9, Mondays at 10] Scream Queens [VH1, August 9, Mondays at 10] Hard Knocks: New York Jets [HBO, August 11, Wednesdays at 10] She’s Got the Look 2 [TV Land, August 25, Wednesdays at 10] Bad Girls Club: Miami [Oxygen] Hair Battle Spectacular [Oxygen] 16 Kids & Counting [TLC, August] BBQ Pitmasters [TLC, August] L.A. Ink [TLC, August] American Chopper: Father vs. Son [TLC, August]