Daniel’s last day of preschool was one week ago today. He’s now on “summer break” as we like to tell him. I’m walking that fine line of letting him be totally relaxed and excited that he doesn’t have to go to school and reminding him that this is just a 3 month break before he has to go back.
You see school has been a little…um…rough. Like all things with kids, the excitement of preschool took a little U-turn. After his very first day of preschool, he was thrilled! That continued for about two months. He LOVED his teacher and the teaching assistant. He started making friends. He loved to show me his drawings and glue projects. He loved music class. He loved using the school potty (one of my biggest early fears.)
Daniel’s 3 year old preschool program was only two days a week, but after about two months he started to get upset when I dropped him off in the morning. I had to park and walk him into the small classroom. I liked that. It gave me the opportunity to see his teacher and watch Bean put his backpack on the wall and sit down. I felt comfort in leaving him when I knew he was settled. But it became harder to leave when he would cling to me or cry.
It wasn’t sadness. It was more like a small anxiety attack. He would ask for water or a tissue and get really upset. God bless his teacher because she was great at bear hugging him into the classroom and shooing me away. Then she would always tell me that he was “just fine” five minutes after I left. But STILL. It was HARD.
Bean is my guinea pig. He’s my first baby. He’s my first attempt at “crying it out.” My first one to eat the scary solids. My first one to walk, to talk, to make a friend, to venture out into the big, bad world. I had no idea what it would be like to send him off to preschool. It’s been equally rewarding and stressful.
I would always feel better when I picked him up. He would run to me and hug me and have a huge smile on his face. It was part glad to see me and part excited to show me a project he did in school that day. He was doing well. He was learning new things. He was happy.
But the morning part never changed. It would vary in range from small sniffles to those crazy anxiety attacks. He would worry about the littlest things like if music class was going to be in the BIG room that day or if one of his friends was upset the last time he was in class. “I hope Madison is not upset today, Mama,” he would tell me. “Don’t worry about her. She’s fine,” I’d say. It was a lot of little questions and worry. But he always went in the room. He was ALWAYS brave. “Mama, I was brave today,” he would say when I buckled him into his car seat at the end of the school day. “Yes, Daniel, you are my super brave boy.”
I think I looked forward to the last day of school more than he did. I was happy to get relief from the anxiety of it all. The thing is, Daniel is just like me. I’m a worrier. I stress. I over think EVERYTHING. Even as a little girl I would be nervous about the smallest things; especially school things. Sometimes I feel guilty because I gave Daniel this gene. But at least I can relate. Plus, he helps ME. One example is his first airplane ride. I was the one who was filled with stress, but I could not let that show so I calmed down. It’s the same with preschool. I feel anxiety every time I drop him off, but I learned to smile and sing happy songs all the way to the classroom. It made ME feel better. (Of course having happy go-lucky little Annabel with us always helped too. The cute lucky duck got that trait from her Daddy.)
Now, don’t get me wrong. Daniel made friends. Daniel did AMAZING in school. The teacher told me he would speak up and answer questions. His end of the year “evaluation” was awesome. He knows his numbers, letters, shapes. He can write his name. He can use scissors. I really have nothing to worry about. It’s just that he’s my sensitive little boy. He’s my baby. He IS a baby. He was the youngest 3 year old in the class because of his August 30th birthday. (The cut off for school here is September 1.) His teacher and the Preschool director both think he will do even better next year in the the 4 year old program because of the consistency.
Because it’s EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Okay, I don’t even want to think about THAT right now. Because school’s out for the summer. YA-HOO.
