First Comes Love, Then Comes…Baby?

What is this “trend” with everyone having babies FIRST and then (maybe) getting married SECOND?

I don’t want to get political and scream from a virtual soapbox, “Whatever happened to conservative values in this country? What happened to the ‘old fashioned’ way of getting engaged, getting married and THEN having kids?”  I’ve just been noticing this “trend” more and more, especially with celebrities.  I don’t know whether the celebrities think it’s COOL or if their pregnancies were “accidents” or even if they are making some political statement themselves (I’m looking at you Brangelina), but I’m feeling a little bit in the minority here.  I was married and THEN I had my babies.

Some of the People Magazine and Us Weekly headlines this week were about Kendra Wilkinson from PLAYBOY and the E! Entertainment show Girls Next Door. She has a brand new reality show called Kendra.  But the headlines were not about her new show.  They were about her pregnancy.  “Kendra Wilkinson and her fiance, NFL star Hank Baskett, are going to become parents.” There was even a quote from her former “boyfriend,” Playboy honcho Hugh Hefner. Hef said he was “really happy to learn that Kendra is pregnant.”  And there were other notes of congratulations from her friends and fellow Playmates.  But I’m thinking, “Wait. She’s not married yet.  Wasn’t that last episode of her reality show all about agreeing to host her big day at the Playboy mansion?  And now she’s having a BABY?”

I just think it’s interesting that no one blinks an eye anymore.  There were no quotes talking about her getting pregnant before her nuptials.  Not one.

Okay, maybe because it’s Kendra, but it’s pretty darn common.  At least Kendra is planning on getting married later this month.  But there are other celebrities that simply have no intention of tying the knot.  I mentioned Brad and Angelina.  Brad has been quoted as saying, “Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able…”  Um, I don’t know about you Angie, but that sounds like a LINE??  Did you not watch that movie He’s Just Not That Into You??  Well, I watched it on DVD this weekend and one of the many take away messages for us chicks is this: If he wants to marry you, he WILL MARRY YOU!

Then there are the young starlets like Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin.  They both had babies and I don’t think they are even engaged anymore.  MTV just launched a reality series about this trend called 16 & Pregnant.  It highlights the lives of teen girls in this country who are getting pregnant before marriage and even before their high school graduation. 

Then there is Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.  Nicole is pregnant with baby NUMBER TWO and still no ring on her finger.  This is a quote from her recent appearance with talk show host Larry King:

“…when I was a little girl, I dreamed about getting married and that is definitely a dream of mine one day. But right now, we’re really really focused on our family; we’re focused on our foundation. As far as feeling that need of commitment, we both really have that in each other.  I think for both of us, we are going to do it because we want to, not because that’s what you do.”

But WHY don’t you WANT to?  I really don’t understand the downside of getting married.  It gives you security.  It is the foundation for your family.  It gives your children security by showing your commitment. 

I don’t get it, but I also don’t want to judge.  I may be a conservative, but I also believe in living your own life.  Heck, I HATE when anyone judges ME. 

But Nicole Richie, I just have to ask…

“Why are you carrying my baby girl??”  (Well, I see a slight resemblance…)